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"15 Degrees of Perspiration"

27 January 2003

You know the feeling.

You're sitting in a meeting. A boring meeting. But you never know if you'll be asked to speak.

You shift in your chair, and a slight movement of dry air wafts past your armpits. Your blouse slides a bit and the fabric moves and touches your skin. And, you suddenly notice a sensation of coolness under your arms.

Shit, I'm sweating!

That's where I was today. In a meeting, stressed out about public speaking, as usual, when my armpit spigots decided to open.

I nonchalantly glance down. Whew, I can't see any wet marks peeking out from my underarms. I reach and pretend to tuck my blouse into my skirt. Aha, there it is, the little bugger. Except it's not so little, bigger than a baseball probably. I reach up to touch it, nonchalantly of course. The fabric is sopping wet and I withdraw my hand before anyone sees.

Bad day to wear my silky lavender blouse. I wish I had known my boss was going to call this meeting.

"Janet", he says, "can you fill us in on the status of your part of the project?"

I stand and approach the front of the room. When I get there, I can feel a droplet of sweat trickle down from my armpit. It is 15 degrees outside, and I'm sweating!

Can people tell? I look around for those glances. You know the ones. They look in your eyes, then down to one armpit, across to the other, then back up. The triangle look. None so far.

I cringe inside when my boss asks me to write some figures on the whiteboard. Each time I put my arm back down I can feel the cool fabric sliding and squeezing under.

It's time to break for lunch. I immediately head for the ladies room and look in the mirror. There are pie plate sized dark purple patches under each arm. _sigh_

As you know from my site, I'm rather relaxed about my perspiration. The only time it bothers me is in group settings like meetings. One-on-one I can deal with it. But with groups, I can't watch where everyone is looking. So my mind starts thinking they are staring at my pits.

As I head back to my cubicle, my boss passes by. "Nice job updating us at the meeting." I exhale with relief. He's a good guy.